He leaves again...our separation is not for long...not compared to what others have to endure. We are very fortunate to be able to see each other this often and for such long periods of time. I would not give up our amazing weekends for anything. These little islands of happiness when every single moment is spent in absolute love with another being.
We do this well, I must say. We have always done this well. But even as time passes my sadness doesn't diminish. I try to silence that annoying little clock that starts ticking away as soon as he arrives.
Tick tock.
Laugh, embrace, devour...
tick...
listen to his breath slow down as he falls asleep holding you so tightly as if he thinks you will slip away...
tock...
Drink every moment in as if it is the last. Capture in your mind all those moments to hold you over until next time...
Tick tick tick tick...
Departures are excruciating. UNBEARABLE. Suffocating because they are inevitable.
They are because of how incredible this love is. How deep, all encompassing and raw it is....worth every tear shed from longing.
This is temporary. It shall be that period of time which we'll remember fondly. Perhaps. And we are both strong and unwavering in our desire for this life together that I do not doubt we will make it. Not even for a second.
We say goodbye and I come home to an empty bed with his smell on my pillow...and something in me dies a little. I am an intelligent being capable of rationalizing anything. But once in a while...once in a while I stomp my feet and skulk and cry because...
ilj
No comments:
Post a Comment