...ramblings of a fashionable sociopath

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

It girl

Angie...the Jolie...Santa Angelina. 

My friends have always laughed at my, semi-unhealthy, obsession with her. I figured it's time to give a little background (not a rebuttal to the un-healthiness in the least haha).

I first saw Angelina in "Gia." Contrary to what others may believe I did not love her then. I loved her acting, her incredible raw talent and unbelievable beauty, yes, but not HER. At a time when every tabloid and gossip site reveled in the perfection that was "Jolie" I could not fathom why a person so clearly broken would be applauded and admired. That is..until I became broken myself. Perhaps it was because I saw so much of myself in her actions that I shunned her image and ridiculed her...

Have you seen "Hackers"? Changed my life. (you laugh, but you have those movies too, admit it.) I wore the outfits, copied the make-up...hell, i STILL wear that silver ring on my index finger. I can see every frame of that movie when I close my eyes...
                                She was an alien. No human could ever be that beautiful...that talented...and so dark.

As she grew up so did I...and I truly (am not being facetious) began to admire her. To be a single mother at a time when men would literally die for a chance to spend the night with choose to be alone for the sake of a child that changed her life...was unusual. Unexpected.

To travel the world, and slowly, begin to change those horrible places filled with unmentionable nightmares for the better...without publicity or may not like her but you have to admire her "balls" so to speak.
To finally find love in  a man who is truly an equal. To show that strong and smart and beautiful can, and do, co-exist and should not be dismissed.

To show those like me that life can be dark, can be painful and sickening...but it can also transform into something...B.I.G. Bigger than your own selfish self. Bigger than what one life can offer. Even if you came from the most desolate corners...

                        Broken can be useful.
                                           Broken can be strong.
                                                      Broken can be loved and love back in a grand way.

I emulate...I shall not lie to you about that. I hope to become bigger than what I initially expected of myself. I want to be a GOOD human.

We all need role models. Whether it is our parents ( and mine is amazing), our friends, sports heroes, or actors...we seek what we adore and emulate by example. It is a basic human instinct. This is mine. A wild, often misunderstood, beautiful woman...who I hope won't fade away for a very long time.

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