...ramblings of a fashionable sociopath

Friday, March 22, 2013

because sometimes I am a joiner


15 things you may not know about Bellatrix (interspersed with pictures of mini fashionistas, because why not- here's your daily dose of chic lilliput realness):

1. when I was 5 I thought it was the greatest idea to tie myself and my giant stuffed dog to my mom's tiny foot in the hopes that she would walk and carry us with her. It never went well.

2. I hate clowns. Terribly, inexplicably and with the entirety of my being. I blame watching "It" when I was a child. I can be covered in blood/emesis/poop or watch "Church of Fudge" (do NOT look that one up. Ever.) and not blink an eye but clowns make me physically ill.

3. There was a time when I wanted to be a cat so much I actually forced myself to sleep in contortionist positions like my kitten hoping that the practice would make me more akin to my favorite creature. Neck cramps happened.

4. I could not/can not eat something sweet on it's own. I have to have meat. Oatmeal? Sausage accompaniment. Cereal? Bacon. Salad? Heresy without protein. :p

5. I can dance straight for 8 hours without a break but if you ask me to run half a mile I will die. My cardio situation is a puzzle.

 6. I often cannot tell the difference between appropriate and not. I do not mean fart jokes or other simpleton fodder...I mean I do not know when laughing at the insignificance of humanity by describing the blood and gore of my job will be appreciated by my audience or met with dismay...and more emesis.

7. I thinks animals can feel. And think, on their own level. They respond...they love...they hurt. And I will never understand people who do not. That said...I am not vegan nor do I trust people who do not eat meat. There is a difference between being a natural killer and a martyr. I am the former.

8. This has been said before but bears repeating because it is integral to who I am. I live to travel. I NEED to travel. If I was forced to live and die in the same city, even if it was New York or Paris...I would slit my wrists immediately. Life is not a life well lived if you have not seen the world. I would crawl...beg, lie and steal to do that. Trust.

9. No matter what I say or my core I truly want to be a descent human. Not perfect or overtly moral...Just a good human that contributed something to the world.

10. I live and die for my friends. What's mine is yours. To Russians friendship is sacred. It must be protected and honored to the last breath. Our friends are our blood...and they know that.

11. My favorite time? A summer dusk as it becomes night. I love sitting the hot day melt into a smoldering night...hearing the cicadas chirping as your thoughts run away... I could spend eternity sitting by a fire pit with my glass of wine, looking at the stars...

12. I love black. Black has been my companion for a very long time. And yet, as I have mentioned before, I am also bound by it. I feel trapped in that nothing but black feels normal. Nothing feels like it fits unless it's black. I love the way all black makes anyone look incredibly chic....but I often fear on me it has lost the effect after years of living in it's shadow.

13. I want a fox. I will not live my life without owning a domesticated red fox from a Siberian institute. It is, perhaps, eccentric...unnecessary...silly?...but I need it. This is happening.

14. My favorite book is " The Little Prince." I read it every couple of years and it always reveals nuances missed previously. It is deliciously well written and absolutely fabulous in its simplicity. It has quotes for every situation in your life. And, of course, a fox. Boom.

15. I fear...not finding love. I always find romances...fleeting relationships...brief, exciting affairs. But I am afraid that I will go through this life on my own as I have done thus far. I do "solitary" impeccably...but I do long for a lasting love. A partnership that I have only seen in movies and books...for I have yet to see it in real life.

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